You’re not “Self-Made.”

It is time to rid society of this insane idea

I was walking through downtown San Diego the other day and saw a girl walking toward me, then past me, with a “Self-Made” T-shirt on. A plain T-shirt that just says the words “Self-Made.” Unironically.

As she passed by, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed contemplating the absolute absurdity of it. The ignorance is unintentional, I think, but consider the presuppositions that must be accounted for in order to wear that T-shirt unironically and genuinely believe it.

Now, maybe I’m taking this way too far. But let’s do just that. Let’s take it too far. This shirt is straight silly.

For starters, we have to grant free will for “self-made” to have any potential viability. Let’s go ahead and do that, because this argument isn’t about determinism or free will. But if you’re determined, the shirt is even more nonsensical. Of course you aren’t “self-made.” By definition quite the opposite. We’ll park that thought. Free will granted. A pass for this girl and anyone in the “self-made” mindset.

I think this mindset needs to be completely eradicated. What we need is the polar opposite of it: We need to exercise complete gratitude for everyone else’s toil and suffering that led to you unironically wearing a “Self-Made” T-shirt.

Now, I don’t think these people mean anything bad by it. I just don’t think they ever go one layer deeper, past the surface level, past their ego getting a nice little pat on the back. It feels good to have ownership, to have agency, to have this amazing free will to exercise. I believe I do “it” at a higher level than anyone, or at least a high level with these other people who are also “self-made,” because we’re “getting after it, man”.

And that’s fair enough. It’s okay to feel good about consciously improving yourself. But “self-made” just isn’t it.

What Being “Self-Made” Actually Implies

Think about what this implicates. This is what instantly hit me the moment this girl walked by me.

We have to start from the ground up. But before the absolute ground up, let’s just take the irony that she’s wearing a T-shirt she didn’t make. She didn’t pull the cotton out of the ground. She didn’t plant the cotton. She didn’t weave it, or do whatever the process is these days. She doesn’t have a cotton loom in the craft room of her studio apartment. She didn’t press the plastic “self-made” graphic on the front. The T-shirt itself was not “self-made.”

And this irony can be traced all the way back to Genesis, or the Big Bang, or whatever you believe was the start of the universe. All of these factors, obviously out of your control, led to you being born. Then you were born into an environment you didn’t choose, to parents you didn’t choose. And if your parents hadn’t had sex, and had the ability to have children, in that exact moment, you would have never been born. Not that you would have existed some other time. You would have never been born, because the sperm and egg combo that created you would have never existed again.

Not very “self-made” up to this point, considering almost every factor that made you who you are was out of your control.

The Miracle That You Even Exist

There’s a tremendous lack of gratitude here as well. Your ancestors died, suffered, and overcame, and it is an absolute, unbelievable miracle that you even exist. There’s a stat for this. Dr. Ali Binazir calculated the odds of you being born as you: about 1 in 10^2,685,000. That’s a 10 followed by 2,685,000 zeroes. The number of atoms in the known universe is about 10^80.

His illustration of what those odds feel like: 2 million people, roughly the population of San Diego, each rolling a trillion-sided die, and every single one of them landing the exact same number. The population of the very city this girl and I were walking through.

But you do exist now. Here you are on Earth. Again, all by factors out of your control.

Now you’re being formed as a toddler. You’re having these experiences, you’re growing, you’re learning. Every piece of knowledge you have was built on the scaffolding of knowledge before you, knowledge that people struggled for and built up over a tremendous amount of time. That workout equipment you use, you didn’t make, but it makes you feel so “self-made.” That concrete you’re walking on in a big major US city, you didn’t have any labor in constructing. Not “self-made.”

So what is actually left to be “self-made”? The idea you had to go on a walk through the city? The early morning workout you showed up for? The career you’ve worked hard for and are proud of?

So Don’t Be Self-Made: Be Grateful

You can be proud of yourself, but remember “you” are just a thin layer on a massive inheritance that you did nothing to earn.

So instead of being so proud of yourself, instead share the things that worked for you in improving your own life and the lives of those around you.

Clearly, you believe you’re “self-made,” so you think you’re on to something in your unique enlightened journey. You’re announcing this fact loud and proud, with that damn T-shirt… So, maybe instead of believing you’re “self-made,” give us your secrets. They worked for you. They made you happier. They made you, hopefully, more integrated, more understanding, and, yes, even though it’s hard to believe with that T-shirt on, perhaps a more grateful person.

But gosh, the idea that you are “self-made” is absolutely insane, and a tremendous disservice and disrespect to everyone around you currently, and to all those who came before you.

So please, don’t be “self-made.”

Be grateful.

Take off the headphones, invite a friend on the walk next time, and burn that T-shirt.